We are pretty sure that Shakespeare would have worked Taco Bell into something if it were around in Elizabethan England. Taco Bell is one of those cultural touchstones that has lasted so long because it has powerful branding. Branding is about expressing an idea clearly, appealingly and in a memorable way. Taco Bell's branding, and the branding of its menu items, is so strong that we can look at the menu and see more than foods with calorie counts on par with the national debt; we see ourselves reflected in the sheen of oil on the ground beef and shredded cheese.

Much like how people see themselves and their friends in the personalities of dogs and cats, we see relationships in fast food combo menus. Forget about the dollar menu, as that is a metaphor for the executive functions of politicians. Focus on the combos. We think we can peg you and your significant other to one combo item on the Taco Bell menu. Sure, we could have gone with Chik-fil-A, or In-N-Out Burger, but we have an irrational fear of hyphens.

So are you ready to be reduced to a heap of fried gluten, microwaved vegetables and grilled animal products? Is your loved one? Well, you'd better be! Now, on to the quiz!